Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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