Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We are all done wearing pants today
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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