I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
