you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
When are your genitals available?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
