At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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