beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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