Plan B is the new Plan A
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
