The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize