butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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