see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
