never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
