I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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