I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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