operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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