Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
