Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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