He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
