Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize