Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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