He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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