she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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