this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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