just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
