I am puke
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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