What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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