i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
