you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
