I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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