umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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