I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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