I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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