Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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