Just mADE A PArabola og urine
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How drunk are you?
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