best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
