Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
COCAINE IS GR8
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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