I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
