I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize