Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
