you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
her vagine was all disorganized.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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