I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize