New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm like, not good at living.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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