You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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