I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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