so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
