just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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