Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
