my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i barfeds in our rink
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
