You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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