you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
