I like to think it a success when the cops are called
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
