I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
