so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize