never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
