How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
