Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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