Jerry, you need to find god
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude i'm inner monologue high
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
