Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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