well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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