Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
