Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
