You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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